New “Department of Farmland Security” Mandates
—Effective Immediately
Because it has been noticed by those who are prejudiced that foxes and weasels steal chicken eggs and kill and eat chickens—due to no fault of the weasels or foxes, it is part of their culture and religion of peace (and there is nothing more peaceful than the feeling and the quiet after a good meal)—chickens will no longer be allowed to lay eggs, nest, or roost except in government-designated chicken areas (it is irrelevant that the farm-government itself is now represented 95% by weasels and foxes—the very fact that you have even noticed that means that you are a hater and “anti-predator”).
95% of all henhouses and chicken coops will be returned to wild woodlands by farm-governmental decree without compensation... it matters not how many generations or centuries that the chickens have occupied those areas or all that was invested to develop those areas.
All chickens that remain in areas newly designated as “wild woodlands”, will be recognized as invaders; however, ALL weasel and fox “refugees” must be admitted at will into the remaining 5% of the Henhouses / chicken coops and any chicken or rooster who says anything disfavorably will be the next on the chopping block. All roosters must turn in their scurs and stop crowing to sound the alarm every time that they see something suspicious. Alarmists and whistleblowers will be sent off to Campbell’s Facility for “re-education” (chicken-alphabet soup division: mmm-mmm good!).
Those who are domesticated who inconsequentially suffer at the hands of those who are not domesticated clearly are the ones to blame for their centuries of holding the nondomesticated animals down by putting up fences and not letting them into the domesticated zones—which are like a land flowing with milk and honey—which havens are responsible for the domesticated animals’ evolutionary progress.
So-called Domesticated animals have an irrational notion of their self-domestication.
Domestication is an artificial social construct and it is not a reality.
This thinking must stop. There is no such thing as domestication.
Those who think that they are domesticated and that others are not are “anti-something” and “something-phobic”—we just have not invented the precise legal-agricultural terms for it yet: but it is true and legally enforceable nonetheless.
Remember, it is a thought crime whether you think it or not. It’s either a thought crime or an anti-thought crime. Don’t think about that too hard: That is a crime too.
Predator lives matter.
Those who are racistly proud of their deluded notion of their superior domestication will not be tolerated.
Those self-imagined domesticated who purposely suffer injury and death only to make the predators look bad will be doubly prosecuted. It is an additional hate crime to drag the predator through the court system.
Stop tempting the predators. Wear a burkha or a pup tent or a garbage can—those of you who are self-imagined domesticated stop throwing yourselves upon the predators. That itself is the real crime. Stop taking baths; wear a little more manure. We know that will not stop 100% or even 50%, but it will inevitably deter some, but more importantly, it will help you to learn to feel bad about yourself, which you should.
The wild open spaces were here first, and therefore the law of the jungle is supreme... (of course, this law is a one-way street, the law of the jungle applies only to jungle animals—wherever they are—while domesticated* animals must at all times be on their best behavior, wherever they are, and turn the other cheek).
[* Yes, I know that we already established that “domestication” is a myth; the very fact that you noticed this inconsistency has ferreted you out as a hater. Though domestication is a myth, we must prosecute those who have been mythically domesticated. Don’t think about that too hard or it will ferret you out as mythically domesticated. Wild animals are merely pure animals whose minds have never been contaminated with hateful notions of their own nonexistant domestication.]
The law of the jungle is “What’s theirs is theirs and what’s yours is theirs”. It really is quite simple.
Let’s assume that you were domesticated. Which came first, the domesticated chicken or the undomesticated fox? Anything that you have you stole from the fox because the undomesticated were here long before others began starting having delusions about being domesticated.
If any chickens are killed and eaten, clearly, the chickens are to blame, not the weasels or foxes.
Only someone anti-predator would ever think otherwise.
It is a hate crime on the part of the chickens to tempt innocent weasels and foxes with their plump bodies and their proud clucking every time that they lay an egg.
Furthermore, cows are responsible for the milk that they produce. It is their milk and they do produce it. If they refuse to be responsible they should turn in their udders. If any farmer or health food store sells raw, unpasturized milk, the cows will be liable for lawsuits resulting from any good health that is derived from their milk, circumventing the financial gain and totalitarian control of the farm-a-sue-t-cow, homogenizocidal drug lords and their doctor pimps (veterinarian charlatans deluded by their own irrational notions of their superior self-domestication).
[* It does not matter that raw, pasturized milk existed before pasturized milk; or that unpasturized milk is natural and healthy and that pasturized milk is unnatural and unhealthy. Stop thinking. The only purpose of calves’ brains is to provide food for the farm collective. Thinking makes brains tough and gritty. Just stop thinking and watch t.v. so your brain will be nice and soft like pudding.]
Wolves and sheep are natural friends.
Sheep only believe otherwise because of the bigoted ideas passed down to them from their crude* ancestors.
[* Yes, we realize the notion of crude ancestors seems to admit some reality of domestication, but you are just confused. Read what we tell you; don’t think your own thoughts.]
If sheep and wolves don’t get along, it is the sheep’s fault. Stop being so sheepish and just follow the wolves’ lead and everything will be just fine.
The wolves are continually showing their good faith in wanting to interact, and the sheep always run away which is insulting to the wolves and is the real pathology of the problem.
If someone pulls the wool over the sheep’s eyes, it is only because the sheep want it to be so... it is their wool, you know. Who has more control over a sheep’s own wool than the sheep himself? If the sheep did not produce wool it could not be pulled over its eyes. Only a hater would blame the wolf. Stop being racist talking about “wolves in sheep’s clothing”. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. You never hear of “sheep in wolves’ clothing”, do you...? That’s because sheep are racist and think that they are superior and have no desire to adopt wolf culture. Stop worrying about the “food chain”. It is your duty to provide for the needs of the undomesticated since domestication is a myth. You should thank the wolves for culling out the weak and sickly. Consider it a public service and humanitarian outreach. Stop being so negative. Stop thinking of the wolves’ bellies being half empty and think of them as completely full.
Sheep must stop chewing their cud. They derive too much nutrition out of each mouthful of food, thus interfering with the financial grain of the sheep-feed producers and it is an unfair advantage over filthy animals like pigs who don’t chew the cud. Pigs should not be forced to learn to chew the cud, but sheep should stop their unfairly holding the swine down. Sheep should also willingly consent to being sheared on a regular basis so as not to flaunt their God-given fleece in the face of the filthy naked pigs. Sheep should submit to social re-engineering and learn pig behaviour and learn to roll in their own urine and feces and enjoy it, rather than looking down on the pigs for their nature and culture. Sheep and pigs both have chops. They are no different. Clearly since the sheep “evolved” at a faster rate, robbing the swine of their rightful share of “evolution”, sheep will be required to “devolve”, which will be accomplished, eventually, if they act like pigs and even start breeding with the pigs. Then the sheep will have no irrational notion of superiority and the pigs will have regained their rightful share of “evolvement”.
[Don’t confuse evolution with domestication. Just trust us: Evolution is true. Domestication is not.
Realistic Note: Understand: “Evolution” is a pseudo-scientific fairy tale for adults who hate God. It is a necessary delusion in order to transfer sinful man’s submission from the Authority of Almighty God to the pseudo-authority of evil men who want to control everyone else. They expect you to ignore the inconsistency of the Prophets of Evolutionanity who hypocritically, left and right, violate the very religion that they claim to believe—blaspheming its foundational tenets: Survival of the fittest / Natural Selection. In their self-declaration that some species “evolved” beyond their fair share, robbing those who did not, the farm-government’s plan is to “restribute evolution equally”. In reality, this is the self-appointed elite farm-government’s hypocritical attempted grasp at self-godhood and pseudo-creation; even though they reject the notions of God and Creation and Intelligent Design. It also reveals their hypocrisy in trying to “hog all the godhood” by their own self-appointment to that austere office by which they alone declare by fiat what is “good” and “evil” (in violation of God’s Decrees). In their Statist Totalitarianism they force the pseudo-notion of equality and equitability on everyone else, while personally retaining the lion’s share of “Uber-equality” for themselves. As George Orwell pointed out in his epic Animal Farm, the pigs declared that all animals are equal: but the pigs are more equal than the others.]
Again, sheep must stop warning about wolves in sheep’s clothing. You never hear wolves barking out warnings about sheep in wolves’ clothing, do you? Why is that? Sheep are fearful and irrational fear causes hate. Rams must also turn in their horns and stop their hateful butting of wolves. Wolves don’t have horns so it is unfair that rams do. Only fearful haters have weapons on them at all times.
Again, imitation is the highest form of flattery and if a wolf thinks he is “a sheep trapped in a wolf’s body”, then he has every right to change his appearance to look the way that he believes that he really is. Even though “God screwed up” and put the sheep in the wrong body that looks like a wolf, it is actually a sheep. It’s God’s fault and it’s the sheep’s fault for perpetuating the myth that God’s mistake is what is natural and normal.
[Understand, according to these Totalitarian self-appointed experts and dictators, God does not exist unless they need someone to blame.]
New Sheep Neighborhood Policy: If you see a wolf, don’t say mutton (nuttin’ / nothing). But if you see a sheep that sees a wolf—report it immediately!
If you even see a wolf that is a sign that you are an intolerant, fearful hater.
All that you should see are animals... all the same species... all the same color... all the same size.... all the same shape... all the same smell... all the same level of domestication... all equally valuable and equally beautiful creatures. Sheep will undergo nostril re-assignment surgery so that they can no longer smell a wolf approaching. The notions separating what is considered “wolf” and what is considered “sheep” are artificial constructs.
These new rules are effective immediately.
Thank you for your farm coop-eration.
—Signed, the New Socialist farmer re-distributionist, re-educationist.
Epilogue
What happened to the previous farmer, owner?
Oh, he was sent off for re-programming because he was “anti-predator” and “anti-government predator”. Last we heard of him, we have not heard of him. The very fact that you asked such a question causes us to look upon you with suspicion and a note has been made in your official file and measures will be taken in the future if you attempt to evolve higher than anyone else; that is, higher than the farm-government says that you can evolve. The farm-government in its Omnipotent-Benevolence alone retains the right to evolve to godhood to prevent anyone else from evolving unfairly. Even had you not asked about the previous farmer owner, we already know that all sheep are guilty of “thinking” it and such notations have already been made in the file of all sheep. Of course, wolves would never even have such a thought, so not only are there no notations in the files of wolves, but there are not even any files kept on wolves.
[Does this sound like the farm you want to live on? What are you going to do about it? Will you be like the peaceful blonde-haired, blue-eyed people in the original “Time Machine” movie, who just sat around eating and drinking and making merry until the savage Morlochs dragged them off, one by one, into their caves to tear them apart and eat them? God says “to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin”. If you allow sin to breed and fester under your very nose and say and do nothing—you are an accomplice, not a “victim”, and whether you like it or not, God has appointed you to be a watchman on the wall—whose blood shall be required before God for dereliction of duty or treason (which crimes are separated only by a very fine line) when others suffer because you would not sound the alarm.]
[Available in booklet form for distribution. Inquire.]