My own "Babylon Bee"-type headlines / news brief

My idea for a Babylon Bee-type headline:

Biden Admits Trump Was Elected President in 2020 U.S. Presidential Election

Creepy / Sloppy Joe Biden and his coteries of leftists admit that they rigged the 2020 election and that Donald Trump actually won and was the lawful U.S. President, not Biden — therefore, they claim that since Trump was already elected for 2 terms, he cannot be president now, in a third back-to-back term.  

Biden also pardons in advance himself and all co-conspirators for all election tampering and other acts of Treason for which they could ever possibly be accused, indicted, arraigned, tried, and convicted.

—sort of like the Jewish Vow of the Kol Nidre that absolves one in advance for all sins / crimes to be committed in the coming year; 

—sort of like how Al Gore apologized for any statements that he “may or may not have made”.*   The “Magic Pardon Wand” is now failing from overuse and needs to be retooled.

* Gore was not as mentally flexible back then; today, if anyone cared, he would probably amend that statement to: 

“I regret any statements that I may or may not have made, or any statements that I would, should, or could have made, any statements in hindsight that I would have like to have made, any statements that I forgot to make, any statements that I may make in the future, or any statements that I may or may not have made in a previous or future life; and any statements that may or may not have been made by any family members, friends, co-workers, accomplices, and co-conspirators that I may or may not have / have had / may have in the future.”

News flash!  The deep state moves to destroy all tape measurers so that "deep" can no longer be measured...!

RAB/STM