POLICE: Don't call us; we'll call you if we want to fine you.
POLICE: "We are too busy eating donuts and looking for ticketable traffic violations to bother ourselves with actually protecting citizens... just put up with whatever the problem is and stop being so hysterical, selfish, rabble-rousing, whistle-blowing, alarmist, and intolerant. Your tax money that pays our salaries is not to provide services for you, but to protect the politicians and regulate you into a cage, and to turn a good profit when we can...